Strain
by Chibi Fenrir
Summary: "The assassin's blade carries sorrow that cuts though all happiness..." Rating may change
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters featured in this story or the anime series they come from.

__________

Strain

"The assassin's cold blade carries sorrow that cuts through all happiness…"

       Fenrir

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Chapter One:

Recoil 

The young man pulled out a stand out of his bag and set the rifle on top of it. Quickly realizing his mistake, the boy took the gun off the stand and equipped the 6x scope on it

The boy took a quick glance at his watch and checked to see if he had his night vision goggles just in case. Not taking a second, the young man pressed the butt of the rifle against his chest, while his finger brushed against the trigger.

For this brief moment, he thought about why he was here. Why he was now killing people for an organization that once planned to destroy the world, an organization his father was now the head of.

According to them, Shinji Ikari is deceased. He died from the injuries sustained while attempting to prevent what is thought to be the Third Impact, and was buried in the same graveyard as his mother.

His focus shifted back to the present as he looked through the scope to see his target… a man entering an apartment with his family.

From many years of training, the assassin had learned that almost nothing was as it seemed. The boy turned on the thermal vision in order to see inside the taxi, and found out that it was someone other than the driver remaining in the car.

Shinji quickly found out that something was… wrong. Using the high-powered scope it was easy to see the outline of a gun in the 'son's' pants, but he still couldn't determine if the man outside the car was actually a body double.

As the 'family', whom Shinji believed to be bodyguards, walked inside the apartment complex, the man stood alongside the taxi still speaking to the driver. 

"My objective is only to kill that man, but I don't know who is who." The boy whispered to himself as the driver took the money from the man leaving Shinji with less time to think before he pulled off.

Shinji had the man outside the car in the crosshairs, "I mean, the bodyguards went inside so they are probably waiting on him, but the person in the car will probably go in the back-"

The sound of the engine coming to life interrupted the boy's thoughts. With no time to spare and with a heavy heart, the boy decided he had no option…but to kill them both.

Looking though the scope in thermal vision, Shinji pulled the trigger and the round sped towards its intended victim, tearing past the top of the taxi and blowing straight through the man's head, spattering blood and brains against the seat, the windows, and much of the inside of the car.

Shinji sighed as the man was alerted not by the sound of the silenced rifle, but the newly created mosaic of death, featuring the man who had been moments before sitting alive inside the car, and ran inside the apartment as the taxi driver drove off as fast as he could.

The boy targeted the man and pulled the trigger for the second time today as he once again embraced the brief pain from the recoil. It didn't take him long to find that he missed.

This is not what Shinji wanted at all.

Some, if not most assassins enjoyed this type of task. One of the targets escaping and allowing them to play a little game of cat and mouse, but…

Shinji wanted the job to be quick without any mistakes. He wanted it to be finished as quickly as possible. Anything other than that meant more killing, and it was even worse when the target knew that it was coming.

Under the cover of night, the boy took the sniper rifle and placed the parts of the sniper rifle into his bag, "I guess I have more time to think things out."

Carefully zipping up the bag and picking it up by the scrap, he began his descent down the side of the building to carry out the 'rest' of the assassination.

As he went further down the ladder, it felt like he was falling deeper into hell with every death bringing him closer to his own fate.

Not long after the boy set foot on the ground, one of the 'family' members, the daughter to be exact, appeared in front of him, "Who do you work for?" she asked in awaiting his response as she pointed a handgun in his direction… a pretty big handgun Shinji noted.

"P-please don't make me do this," he pleaded with the girl as he also pointed his gun at her, "Run away, just say I had too much firepower or something…"

"Wrong answer."

She pulled the trigger.

Shinji blinked as he realized she had the safety on.

Recovering from the shock faster than the girl at the opposite side of this gun, Shinji took this moment to fire a shot and watched as the bullet entered and exited her forehead.

Shinji paused as the girl, that couldn't be much older than him, fell to the ground, "I'm sorry," he started to run towards the apartment complex being careful not to be caught off guard, "even if you would have run when I told you to, I would have had to kill you anyway."

He opened the door and ran through it… and narrowly avoided being shot directly in the chest by boy that was supposedly the 'son'.

Not having the time to return fire he dived behind the service counter. 

"I know you killed her," the boy said as he walked across the room, "She was a good fuck you know. Now that she's gone I'm going to have to find another…" He stopped as a black ball rolled towards him.

The boy had to shied his eyes from the blinding light that filled the room, but right after it died down the body count rose by one.

Shinji took this as his chance to use the computer to find the man before the 'wife' came down. He released the breath he didn't know he was holding when he found the information he needed.

For once, he thanked God that it was not a good hotel or he would be killing a lot more people than he was now…

"Ok… I have to go up the stairs he will be on the third floor. After I do it, I'll jump out the window, pick up my stuff, and leave."

Not soon after he got up the steps he reached room 318…

He knocked on the door and quickly pressed his back against the wall beside the door. They answered the door with seven bullets…

Shinji waited for a moment then kicked down the door, only to find a gun on his temple.

"My my… Mr. Assassin, I think I may have caught you." Said the 'mother' as directed Shinji to drop the gun.

Not far from the door, a man laughed as Shinji put the gun on the ground and kicked it passed the woman…

"Now young man, can you please tell me the reason for this? Or do I have to let her do… 'something' to you?"

Shinji chose his words carefully, "I…I work for no one. I have chosen to do this and I am willing to die for what I choose to do…" he said nervously and that much amused the man in the chair.

"I'm sorry." Shinji brought his right hand up causing the string connected to his index finger to pull the trigger shooting the woman in the foot; taking this brief period of confusion to his advantage he pushed the woman down and used her own gun to shoot her…

The arrogant man now sat in this chair horrified at the event that took place in front of him, "T-that is the r-reason you was nervous!" the man shouted but was too scared to move…

Shinji stepped towards him…

~*~*~*~

The sound of an alarm clock filled the boy's ears as he instantly sat up in the bed wiping the sleep out of eyes, "…Another one of those weird dreams. I might have to ask Ms. Akagi about them or something." The young man climbed out of bed still waiting for his eyes to adjust to the sunlight filtering through the blinds so he could read the time of the alarm clock that woke him up.

He quickly took a look around the room just to see if everything was still familiar, and it was… the dark blue walls of his room matched well with the oak floors and the ceiling fan was still on as it always was.

"8:32." He said aloud as he fell back onto the bed, "I'm going to be late for…"

He paused as he tried to recall what it was he actually did…

"Work…" he whispered completing his statement.

He brushed it off as drowsiness, and got up to take his shower… 

As he walked towards the bathroom, he was glad that a college drop-out like himself was able to find a job… and he was even all the more lucky to get an apartment like this.

He quickly disrobed and allowed the warm water to hit his body, in a city like this it was hard to find a well paying job, even harder if you didn't complete school.

"Ah, I forgot," Shinji reached out of the shower for a towel to dry his hand with. After he was sure his hand was dry the boy was real careful not to knock the radio off of its stand and turned it on. When the sound of a man addressing a woman about something filled his ears he withdrew his hand and continued to take his long shower as he listened to this news.

~And I saw it coming over the air like one of them, um… UFOs~

Shinji sighed as he turned the showerhead off and grabbed a towel off of the rack, "I don't see where they get this stuff from."

~In other news, the leader of the reformation party was found dead in his hotel room. The police say that it is a suicide, but because of certain information the police department have yet to release, the case is being handled as a homicide~

The boy continued to listen as he looked into the mirror to fix his tie, but as he examined his himself in the mirror he once again noticed that he had a few hairs on his chin, "I'm twenty-one years old… and still don't have any facial-"

The cell phone in his pocket started to ring as he adjusted the glasses he had to wear to correct his vision. Annoyed, the boy quickly picked up the phone to stop it from ringing, "Hello?"

"Get out." Came the quiet, frank reply.

"What?" the boy asked again completely puzzled.

"Get out of the apartment. Now."

Shinji walked out of bathroom looking for his briefcase as he still held the cellular phone to his ear, "I don't…" he trailed off as the caller hung up.

"That was strange…" Shinji took a look at his watch and decided he didn't have the time to be thinking about such things. The young man finally found his briefcase on the floor next to front door and started to walk out until… until he noticed the door was unlocked.

"You are pretty sharp," someone called out from behind him, "did you know how long it took me to find you?"

Shinji turned to find a male about the same size as he, but… it was easy to see that he was in pain, and he characterized it by the constant twitch of his eye and grit of his teeth if his left shoulder moved even an inch.

Shinji took a closer look at the boy, "I don't know what you are taking about. I-I've never seen you before in my life."

The man tapped the gun on the table as he started to think keeping his eyes on Shinji all the while, "Are you telling me that you don't know who I am?" he asked with a bit of a grin.

Before Shinji could even open his mouth the man continued to talk "I guess I'm just one of the those faceless motherfucking lackeys you always kill eh? Do you know how fuckin' long it took me to follow-No, forget that shit. Do you know how it feels to be stepped over?" The man asked in all honestly as he awaited Shinji's answer.

"Um… bad."

The sound of a fired shot echoed throughout the apartment…

His glasses fell to the floor…

Shinji stepped backwards as the bullet stopped right in front of his chest, followed almost immediately afterwards by a hexagon shaped pattern before him as the bullet dropped the ground…

"What are you!?"

"He is coming with me." Replied a calm voice from the doorway, drawing both the attention of Shinji and his would be killer.

Although she was partly hidden in the shadows, some of the sunlight that filtered through the door made it easier to make out her features. The short, blue hair that covered her ears neatly stopped at her shoulder, and the bland blue of her hair and pale white of her skin made her crimson eyes stand out the most… and those eyes held no emotion at all Shinji noted.

His perception of the quiet beauty in front of him was shattered as she lifted a gun modified with a silencer into the air and fired three rounds into the man, ending his pitiful existence.

"Ikari," she said in the same formal voice as before, "are you injured?"

The young man simply nodded his head, the terror of having a dead man in his apartment still hanging in his mind…

"I… I-I mean… Who are you?" he asked trying his best not to sound scared.

"You have no reason to fear me." She calmly walked towards him stepping over the dead man to get closer to Shinji, "Somehow I knew that you wouldn't remember. My name is Rei Ayanami."

"What d-do you mean that I w-wouldn't remember?"

"It is best if we save the questions for when we have the time to talk, it is not safe here anymore." As she ended her statement she grabbed the boy, who was too confused to resist… and he probably wouldn't have even if he had the chance.

Well at least he knew he wasn't going to work today…

~*~*~*~

"Y-you live at a church…"

The both of them stood in front of a cathedral. Although he never really went to church, he could remember from… class that it was built using the gothic design that was popular at the time.

"Yes, I live here," She paused looking upward at the sky as the storm clouds soared overhead, "I am a nun."

If their… meeting would have been a whole lot more light hearted he may have laughed at that fact, "B-but you just killed a man!"

"To save your life." She stated as she secretly led the young man in as small droplets of rain began to fall.

Despite the situation, Shinji blushed as she unlocked the door to her room and walked into it, "Ms. Ayanami… y-you aren't suppose t-to bring a m-man in here…"

"Ikari," she said once again using the same tone of voice, but with a faint blush on her cheeks, "we are not here to have sex." 

The very word caused the young man's face to turn beet red, he coughed a few times to clear his throat before speaking, "Do you think you can answer my questions now?"

He took this time to actually look around the room as he awaited her reply. The room was, to put it simply, plain… it just looked like it was just void of life. He knew that nuns lead strict lives but he had no idea…

"I will tell you when I will be able to answer your questions, they are on their way here now."

He watched as Ayanami walked over to the corner on the left side of her bed and knocked on the walls till she heard a hollow tone coming from one of the spaces in the wall.

Carefully pushing the hollow part, the wood covering broke into two pieces and the woman pulled out a green duffle bag. Not wasting any time she unzipped the bag, allowing the weapons inside to be revealed to the male behind her…

With military precision, she lifted one of the assault rifles and placed a fresh magazine into it and did the same with the other rifles. She then laid the side-by-side on the floor beside the bag, and begun to check the handguns.

Shinji, not wanting to interfere with her examination, sat on the edge of the bed watching her… somehow feeling that he knew the caliber of the guns… the feel of them… the rounds they carried…

The feel of his index finger pulling the trigger as the recoil caused his hand fly upwards for a fraction of a second until he quickly lowed it to make another shot… 

He came to his senses only to find that he was staring at the girl… and she was returning his gaze…

She was so familiar… it was hearing a name but not being able to put a face to go along with it…

"Shinji…" She paused as if she stopped herself from saying something else, "We have to go." Rei said as she began to stand up with a high-powered, fully automatic weapon in her hands. 

"Look out that window," she said pointing towards the window opposite Shinji, "At least one of them will be standing looking directly at the window."

And he did as he was told, he pulled back the curtain and instantly noticed it was still raining… but he could still see a man outside looking at the window even though rain was pouring down at an alarming rate, "Ayanami, I… see him."

"Ikari, are you willing to take a life so you yourself can continue living?"

The boy turned to her not expecting the question, "I guess…"

"If you start now, you cannot stop. You will have to keep going no matter the outcome," She paused as the both of them could hear the heavy footsteps approaching the door to her room, "There is no such thing as a second chance in this lifestyle."

She slide two handguns towards him, "If you lift them, you will have to walk the same path as I, but if choose otherwise I cannot guarantee your safety."

Nervously, he lifted one of the guns… he couldn't possibly use two at the same time his aim would be terrible…

But he had to live… he had to find out why all this was happening… and more importantly…

Shinji snuck a glace at his female companion who was positioned beside the door waiting for them to kick it down.

He wanted to find out why she was involved…

Fin

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Ah, my first real Shinji/Rei story… o.o

Too bad it doesn't have much to do with the show yet… -_-'

Well, I don't have much to say… o.o

Next chapter: _For You I Kill…_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Man, I guess I can't say the story is in high demand, but it looks like I have a lot of competition. People are releasing stories to get voted into the Takoballs while your boy Chibi isn't even a Darkscribe yet. o.O

I mean I can hardly get this story to stay on the first page.  Anyway, I hope you people enjoy this chapter 

Strain

"The assassin's cold blade carries sorrow that cuts through all happiness…" 

Chapter Two:

For You I Kill… 

"Sir!"

A man at a desk sighed, "What do you have to report?"

The solider stood at attention and began to repot, "This morning, _he_ was followed and had to engage in combat with the invader, however a third party became involved in the matter."

The solider held out his hand waiting for his boss to accept the picture.

"S-she is supposed t-to dead!" The man shouted aloud in his office as it echoed throughout the large room.

The blue eyed solider overlooked the comment and went on, "_He_ was abducted and now we have reason to believe the two are preparing to fight with our forces, which are trying to retrieve him." 

"Proceed." The man in the darkness ordered as he sat back further into the darkness.

He quietly waited as the young man bowed and promptly left the office, "They are not going to like this."

~*~*~*~

As the door opened, both Rei and Shinji held their breath… both of their firearms aimed towards the doorway waiting for an armed man to walk into the room only to meet an untimely demise.

For the one second, time seemed to just come to a halt…

Rei stood with the automatic rifle at the ready, her eyes waiting for the target to walk through the door…

Shinji also stood at the ready, however his hands shook as firmly grasp the handgun between his palms ready to shoot at a moments notice.

For that brief period, the only thing that could be heard was the faint sound of the rain hitting the windowpane and the rattling of a gun in shaking hands…

And then he came.

Or, however, it came…

The little device bounced along the ground, coming to a stop not far from Shinji.

"Cover your eyes!" Came the sharp and uncharacteristic shout from his normally quiet companion.

A brilliant bright light filled the room, but thankfully because of his reflexes, Shinji managed to avoid being blinded for a brief period of time.

Again, Shinji's reflexes came into play as he hit the ground as gunfire erupted overhead. He could feel pieces of wood from the wall and glass from the window falling on top of him and he could also hear it falling to the floor.

As he lay pinned to the floor, he took a look at Ayanami who simply stood directly in the center of the chaos… 

Yes, she stood in the center of the room as the bullets barely missed her, the gun smoke making it hard to see the complete form of her figure but he could still make out her nearly emotionless eyes…

And as she pulled the trigger, her rifle let loose the hungry bullets that would feast upon the blood of her victims and those unlucky enough to be in her way…

She looked like an Angel of Death.

As the sound of shooting ceased on the other side of the door, Shinji slowly got up…

To say the least he was embarrassed…

Ayanami fearlessly gunned down multiple gunmen, where as he only laid his cowering ass on the floor, making her do all the work

."Ayanami… I'm… I-"

"Ikari, " she interrupted regaining her quiet, subtle voice, "I… I promise I will protect you." She vowed as her eyes betrayed her lock on her emotions.

Silently, she walked over to the duffle bag and softly threw it at Shinji, "They are still coming, we have to make haste."

As they stepped outside her doorway, Shinji was shocked to see how many men were lying on the ground lifeless… in a church no less…

Drawing his attention towards Ayanami, he noticed she was going upstairs instead of outside, "Shouldn't w-we go out a back-"

"Get down!" she shouted again as she whipped out a handgun and shot the oncoming men with incredible aim.

Shinji gasped as a hand landed on his shoulder… and a body fell on top of him.

Slowly rising his head to see if anyone behind him was alive, Shinji got up and ran up the steps as fast as he could, "S-so why are you going upstairs." Shinji shivered trying to forget the feel of a dead body pressed up against him…

"This church was used as a fort during a war a long time ago, as their forces were being defeated the ones who stayed at the church started to doubt they would win and made a secret escape passage…" Rei walked into the third door on their left at the top of the stairs.

"W-What happened to them?" Shinji asked finding the back-story of the church quite interesting.

"One of the captured soldiers lead the enemy here and gave up the secret in order to save his own life," she paused as she examined the gigantic cross on the wall behind the bed. Ayanami pulled a switch under the bed, "It is said that he was killed nevertheless."

Shinji watched as the cross began to fall to the floor, exposing the passage behind it… He could tell from where he was that the only way they could possibly make it through was to side step since it wasn't wide enough for them to just walk straight through.

"Go." She directed as she held dual handguns aimed at the door.

"Wait…" 

Rei turned her head towards waiting for him to continue.

"I… I don't see why you are risking your life for me… I'm just some guy who works in a cubical," He paused again and looked her dead in the eye, "I don't… I don't even know you."

"It doesn't matter if you don't remember, but… a long time ago you told me something." She didn't have to look at him to see that he was scared, "What you told gave me a reason to live, this is how I will repay you…"

"Ayanami, I-"

"Start walking Ikari, the sooner we reach our destination the sooner I'll begin to answer your questions."

Once again, he listened to the albino girl before him and start to side step through the narrow path… It was cold and silent; the only sounds that could be heard were coming from his breathing and footsteps. Not wasting any more time to talk, he kept moving and Ayanami later joined him in the passage as the 'door' began to close making it even darker than before…

Now they were moving down a thin passageway in total darkness…

Shinji could have swore he almost had a heart attack as he could hear the men in the room talking about where they could have disappeared to.

It started to feel like they were repeating the same process over and over again, Shinji would put his hand out to see if they arrived at the exit, slide his foot against the ground to make sure it wasn't any holes or anything, and then take another step…

Then he could see some light coming from above…

"This is the well in the courtyard." Rei whispered as Shinji began to climb the ladder.

As he reached the top, he was surprised to find that no one was near the well… or even in the courtyard.

Sadly, the young man didn't see the butt of a rifle closing in on the back of his head…

~*~*~*~

"You have one hundred and thirty seconds. Start now."

Shinji instantly grabbed the pieces of metal and laid them out in front of him, both carefully and quickly the boy began to assemble the handgun.

His eyes looked at the timer in front of him every few seconds, and sweat started to form on his forehead…

But the boy made a grave mistake… in his haste to put the gun together he knocked one of the smaller parts onto the floor.

Wasting valuable time, the boy reached his arm out to pick up the piece and almost instantly put it inside the gun.

"You have ten seconds left." Said the man beside him.

The pressure was getting to him… his hands were starting to shake…

But he was so close! It was only three pieces left!

"Five." 

Shinji sighed with relief as he put the last part onto the gun and lifted it up, showing the man that it was done.

"The gun is incomplete." The man said in the same deep voice, and pulled out his gun and placed it directly behind his ear, the cold metal digging into his skin…

"You are dead."

"I… I don't understand. I did it right!" Shinji exclaimed as he slammed his hands on the desk and got up.

Only to be knocked to the floor by a punch, "Dead men don't talk."

"Had this been the normal exercise I would have been required to kill you." The man pulled a piece of metal out of his pocket.

"You should be glad." the man flashed a bizarre smile…

"You have a second chance," he threw the missing part at the boy who still laid on the floor, "I normally do this just to kill the little bastards."

~*~*~*~

His eyes snapped open as something cold was applied to his forehead…

It was kind of a blur at first but he could see the outline of a person tending to him.

Instantaneously, the past event flooded into the Shinji's mind… and at about the same time his vision cleared and he could now make out the face of… Ayanami.

Now noticing the person in front of him, his eyes searched around for clues to help him identify where he was…

"Ah… What happened Ayanami?" he asked as she placed the bag of ice on his head.

"I apologize Ikari… I failed to protect you like I said I would."

As he sat up, he noticed that they were indeed in a hotel room, "I don't think you did so bad Ayanami. I'm still alive." He ended the statement with a smile… that put her worries at ease.

Shinji's expression quickly changed as he lay back down, "Do… do you think we can talk now?" he questioned her and once again waited for the simple answer that may be a no.

She walked towards the window and took a peek out of it, "Ikari, you were an Evangelion pilot." Rei stated as her attention fully shifted to him.

"What is that?" he could honestly say he didn't remember every piloting anything…

"Evangelion, also know as Eva, was the… living machine that was owned by a organization called Nerv. Your father, Gendo Ikari, was the commander and organized the operation against the enemies called Angels who were beginning to invade Tokyo-3," she paused as Shinji continued to listen, but she could tell that he was beginning to disbelieve her, "You came to Nerv because of your father's request and became the pilot of Unit-01,"

"But… I… my father died when I was thirteen and I lived with my uncle till I went off to college…"

"Shinji, tell me what college your dropped out of." She commanded.

As the young man's mind started to sink into deep thought, Rei kept asking questions she already knew the answer to…

"What company do you work at?"

"What is your apartment address?"

He opened his mouth to speak… but he was sure that it was at the tip of his tongue… 

"Don't bother, you never went to college, and I don't think what you do can actually be labeled as a profession." Rei looked at him as he began to shake his head from side to side, "Shinji you have a mental block. They figured it would be easier to have a weapon  that didn't think."

She stepped closer towards Shinji, "After you became a pilot, we successfully stopped the Third Impact… but the organization that funded NERV was furious. That organization, SEELE, took your father prisoner and they also kidnapped you."

"You… you are going too fast. What do you mean we stopped the Third Impact… and who exactly make up 'we'?"

"It was five Evangelion pilots. Two survived, or one depending on your information source, and the pilots worked together to prevent the Third Impact." Shinji slowly nodded, "Despite their failed attempt, SEELE is trying to plan for another Third Impact, but they need the money to fund their plans and they don't have that kind of money. In order to get that money, SEELE became an organization that deals with the assassinations of political rivals and in exchange for silencing their opponents, people send them money."

Rei hesitated for a moment, "Shinji… you are their best assassin." 

Shinji simply closed his eyes, "…That's all… I want to know." He said softly as he turned on his side.

"You don't understand Ikari, you know much more… it's just that we have to remove the mental block," She sighed, "It is only one person I know who can do that."   

"I… I don't want it out Ayanami… I just want my life to stay how it is. I don't want to be a killer, I just want to go to work like a normal person and get the stuff I want."

"I expected more from you Ikari. Why do you want to remain ignorant, you will only be-"

"I want it to be that way because that is what I am used to!" Shinji yelled, "I don't want to be a killer! I never asked for," The boy started to trail off as both him and Rei turned towards the door, "this…"

The knocking continued, yet neither of them moved.

Shinji quickly grabbed Ayanami's hand as she reached for her gun, "Maybe it's just room service or something…" he whispered feeling awkward recalling the fact that he was just yelling not to long ago…

"Room service call before they knock." Rei replied just as quietly.

Suddenly the soft knocking came to a stop, "Yea, it was probably just a joke or something…" Shinji signed as he got off of the bed to peek out the eyehole in the door.

"Shinji," called out a familiar voice on the other side of the door.

The young man nearly tripped before he reached the door, "Mana!?"  

Rei tighten her grasp on the gun in her hand…

It was a brief pause, "I'm… I'm here to take your life."

Fin

__________________

Interesting, I bet somebody was expecting Asuka.

*CF gets hit with a brick.

Thanks for bringing me back to reality -_-'

Seriously though, I was really against putting Mana in the story at first but like always it is easier to use a known character (even if she isn't canon) instead of using a ACC or something.

And I should have come up with something better than, 'Mental block'. -_-'

Nevertheless, the story is coming along exactly as I planned it. 

For a drama/action/dark/bit of romance story, I'll have to say that it isn't that cheesy in my opinion.

I guess that's it for now.

Next chapter: _The Wings of a Tainted Angel _


	3. Chapter 3

~

Reviewer corner

Hmm, many thanks friendly reviewing people. ^_^. This may take away from the story a bit but I wanted to answer a few questions before I continued

Q: Is Mana apart of Shinji's fake life, or from the part of his EVA life that he might remember?

A: Let's see if you find your answer in this chapter. 

Q: Who do plan on pairing with Shinji in this story?

A: Ah, if you didn't notice already it is going to be Rei. ^_^

Q: Will we see other Nerv members, like Asuka or Misato and Dr. Akagi?

A: I don't know about Misato or even Ritsuko yet, but Asuka is going to be in the story for sure.

Q: Will you explain how SEELE abduct him? 

A: Yup, at least I will try.

Q: And what happened to Asuka? 

A: You'll see. ^_^

Q: Who the fuck is Mana to Shinji?!

A: Hopefully, you will find out doing this chapter.

About the war/church passage way thing:

A: See I just didn't want it to be passage way in a church for no reason, and making Rei living in a castle alone (in the middle of Japan even) didn't make sense. So I made a little story up about their being a war. It didn't hit me till I was reading your review that I made this horrible mistake. I'll try not to make any other mistakes like that.

Q: Is there an English version of Girlfriend of Steel?

A: The sad truth is that I have not the idea, you could try looking around for a rom or something but finding a working one in English is probably rare if one even exist.

Well thanks for the reviews and I was glad to answer them, now back to the story.

~

Warning: I know this story deals with the Rei & Shinji relationship, but this chapter has to do with Mana. I'm not going to beg anyone to read this chapter since I know some people really dislike Mana, but I enjoy using her like any other character.

Strain

"The assassin's cold blade carries sorrow that cuts through all happiness…"

Chapter Three:

The Wings of An Tainted Angel 

It was a quiet, cloudless night. Although it wasn't all that dark thanks to the full moon, but despite the beautiful glow of the moon and the absent humming of the insects… in most cases, the activities that went on doing the night were a direct opposite of what went on doing the day

But in some cases, some people worked day and night… doing the same thing be it negative and positive. To these kind of people, the peace of the sunny day and the quiet beauty of the starry nights were not things to be enjoyed… they were views and things that these people longed to see.

It was these kind of people that wanted hear a song that reminded them why the darkness of the night never tainted the moon, and it was these kind of people that wouldn't mind hearing a story about why troubles the mind carried would never burden the soul… because all would be spoken through the heart…

But on this quiet night, it was a lonely woman outside a door… trying to deal with the matters of her heart.

"Mana, w-what are you doing here!?" Shinji asked trying to ignore her last statement…

"Shinji… just come outside." Came the soft reply to his question.

The male took a glance at Rei and then looked back at the door before him. Silently standing getting up from the floor, the young man moved to open the door…

As he pressed the dial in the center of the knob to unlock the door, a question came from Rei's quiet voice, "Who is she to you?"

He paused, but still continued to slowly twist the knob, "My girlfriend…"

Rei could honestly say she wasn't surprised, it was just another barrier SEELE put in place to keep Shinji, and just another barrier she would have to break if necessary…

A cold breeze filtered though the crack in the open door into the hotel room as the boy pulled it back causing more and more of the front of the room to be covered in the cool night air.

"Ayanami… I-I don't care if this is one of their lies or something, but let me do this alone…" Shinji said as he began to walk outside in his dress suit.

"No." Came the sudden reply from the female inside the room. 

Nevertheless, Shinji sighed and walked out of the door… only to have the cold metal of a handgun being pressed behind his ear.

"Shinji come with me… I'll make it painless I swear." Although the boy never could recall any of their intimate encounters he felt that he cared for this girl… and the loneliness in her voice hurt him… a lot.

"Mana, why are you doing this?" Shinji calmly asked despite the sweat beginning to form on the edge of his eyebrow.

She smiled… but it was so hollow and fake… he didn't even want to look at it.

"Let me tell you a story Shinji," She reached into her light armor and tore the wire off of her, "I at least owe you this much… Shinji a long time ago, we trained together. You know the weapon handling, torture training, and all that stuff… we was always paired together but everyone could tell that you was taking the training lightly… It was probably because you felt worse pain and probably because you was a pilot, but you was the best…"

"Mana, you don't-"

"I wasn't as good as you so I had to do more training… but you always tried to help me. I started to like you Shinji, but when they finally made us 'work'… I wanted to be with you since we were free but something happened to your memory… It was like you were two different people. An normal guy who thought he was going to work like everyone else by day, and an assassin during the night…."

Rei listened to girl as she leaned on the wall inside the hotel waiting to get involved if she had to.

Mana brought the gun down to her side, "Shinji, it was hard having to become friends with you again…but at about the same time SEELE started using me for missions. You know," She averted her eyes and looked at her boots, "the type of missions where you had to get the target when they wasn't expecting you to."

He felt naïve, mainly because he didn't quite understood what she meant…

"She is saying she had to engage in sexual acts in order to reach her objective." Rei whispered making it completely clear…

"Yea… I didn't think you would want to be with me, so I started to get farther away from you, but then SEELE thought they needed one more backup plan in place… so they made me your girlfriend."

Shinji turned to her, she stood in full combat gear all black except the female model of the suit had more room for their chest and Mana didn't seem to carry the helmet or use it, and her only weapon was the revolver she held in her hand… her brown hair danced in the wind and her soft blue eyes held tears that wanted to fall. 

She was the definition of despair, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to… I understand."

"No, I owe this to you Shinji." The girl said as she began to continue, "I wasn't allowed to kiss you Shinji… I wasn't allowed to do anything. They would tell me when to come and when to leave… but as long as I could hold you even for a minute I felt like I was released from them. I felt free… but when they informed me that you was kidnapped I didn't know if I should be scared since you was gone or if I should have been glad that you was being taken away from that… place. I now envy your freedom Shinji…"

"You envy his strength to be able to leave that life behind, it is only now that you realize that it is too late for you to escape-"

"No! I don't mean it that way. I wanted you to escape. As a matter of fact I was planning to leave right when you finished your mission… but they told me that you were 'kidnapped' , but… I have to take your freedom so I can live Shinji. Please die… for me."

She raised the gun…

"I refuse." Rei stepped out of the hotel with her handgun pointed at Mana, "You would take a loved one life just so you can keep killing for an organization that would kill you to clear itself."

"Why are you taking him Ayanami? So you can-"

The blue haired albino stepped forward and stood beside Shinji, "I take him because he doesn't deserve to live that life. If the ones that 'love' him consider being his murderer then Shinji is in much more danger than I thought."

"I… hate you Ayanami, you made it so people like me would have to labor in those mass production factories, then you leave making it so we ourselves have to do your dirty work, and now you want to take away the only thing that gives me any comfort. I don't care if everyone else calls me a slut or a bitch, but as long… as long as he says 'I love you Mana' I would always forget…"

Mana threw her gun on the ground and walked directly in front of Shinji, "But you are probably right Ayanami… I don't want to live anymore. I didn't even get permission to do this mission… I killed the agent they sent and decided to do it myself. If I return they are going to demote me… or kill me, but as long as I saw you Shinji. I just want you to leave… escape. Please don't let them," She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his for the first time… ever. She wrapped her arms around him and forced her tongue into his parted lips so she could taste him.

Mana could feel the heat that came from him as he also pulled her closed and put his arms around her, and she didn't care if he was only doing so out of pity… as long as she shared the moment with him.

"Please don't let them take you away," She smiled… but this one, for once, was real and beautiful, "and please don't ever forget what we shared."

She sat down on the ground, "I'm ready Ayanami…" 

The boy quickly looked at both Mana and Rei, "What do you mean Mana?"

Rei stepped forward… with her gun raised, "I understand."

The woman on the ground smiled, "Thank you Shinji."

He blinked as he realized what they were doing, and his voice just came to life on its own, "Wait! Please Ayanami!! What are you-"

The sound of the gunshot soon filled his ears…

~*~*~*~

He looked at the full moon in night sky as he laid in the back of the pickup truck that Rei 'borrowed'… it was hard to get his mind off of her…

Did it hurt this much to lose a person that you cared for?

Even if it was a lie… he cared for her, but Mana loved him.

His heart felt like it just broke into pieces as he watched her slump forward as the bullet went through her head… Shinji wasn't ashamed that he cried, but it made him feel so worthless…

It was only after her death that the 'what ifs' started and the questions about her stated to come.

Rei justified her actions by telling him that she would have rather died that way than by SEELE assassins' hands, and that they had to leave before they arrived.

Shinji kept looking at the stars as his thoughts began to wander towards the albino herself…

Of course he trusted her, but why would anyone in their right mind try to go against such a powerful organization… it only made sense that she had ulterior motives… 

Was… was he just something she decided to get along the way?

"Shinji." The soft voice roused him from his thoughts as he set up, and he quickly looked around for a sign of danger only seeing an empty parking lot…

Suddenly an arm appeared out of the darkness of the night and handed him a sandwich, turning his head to see who that arm belonged… his eyes met a pair of ruby red eyes waiting for him to get the piece of food wrapped up in some napkins.

"T-thank you," He quickly said remembering his manners as he grabbed the sandwich out of her hand.

He slid over some to allow her to sit in the truck bed beside him, "Hey Ayanami, w-why did you come for me and what is it you have against SEELE."

It was likely she wasn't going to answer… As a matter of fact he didn't really expect her to, he didn't even see why he-

"I went for you." 

Shinji almost dropped his sandwich, "W-what do y-you mean Rei?" he asked expecting her to answer this time.

"Like I already stated, I am willing to destroy that SEELE for what they have done to you, me, and… others." Rei turned towards the young man who was also looking at her, "A long time ago, I informed that the Third Impact was right… but by nearly going through it myself I found out that it was something that humanity should never deal with again, but more importantly SEELE took away the freedom of the people I cared for most."

Shinji paused as the girl covered his hand with hers, "Only in her death did I discover how long that organization can plant seeds of misery and manage to get away with it, and long ago… I vowed that I would rid the world of SEELE even if I have to live with a gun pointed in my direction every hour of the day and every minute of the night."

The young man beside the girl gasped as she rested her head on his shoulder, "Shinji, I only know one person who can take the block out of your mind." She said in the same quiet voice she always spoke in.

Shinji looked up at the sky as Rei began to close her eyes, "Who is that…?"

"Asuka."

Fin

____________

 Ah, the relationship is starting to show, and Rei is becoming more and more OOC… -_-'

Yea, you can throw another brick if you want, but red demon herself is making her debut in the next chapter. I kind of want her to bring some humor into this otherwise depressing story, but she is going to have to bring some of the stuff people read my stuff for… drama. e_e

Okay, I give you permission to hit me for a brick for that one. -_-'

Since I was late updating, I will upload the next chapter as well. o.o 

Next Chapter: _Gray_  


	4. Chapter 4

Strain

"The assassin's cold blade carries sorrow that cuts through all happiness…"

Chapter Four:

Gray 

Shinji and Rei stood in front of a enormous hospital as people bumped and pushed each other to get inside, although neither one of them was injured they were just here to see one person in particular.

"So this Asuka is a great doctor or something?" the young man asked as he moved out of the way to allow another person to pass him in order to get into the hospital.

Rei moved closer towards him so her soft voice could be heard over the flow of people coming in and out of the building before them, "Yes, Soryu is now a doctor. Because of her history she is very famous in the medical field."

"Um, and we are here to refresh my memory right?" 

"You are correct."

Shinji scratched his head, "I don't really remember doctors treating people for losing their memory." He said as he looked around to find Rei already walking into the hospital.

Not forgetting his manners, Shinji ran in front of her and opened the door, "You did not lose your memory. It is just stored away, and I am confident that Soryu can remove what is blocking your memory."

"If you say so… I just hope it isn't painful…"

Rei gave no reply as she walked up towards one of the many desk, "I am here with my appointment with Dr. Soryu."

The nurse behind the desk gently wrapped her black hair with blond highlights around her finger, "I am sorry, but she doesn't have any openings." She said as she continued to chew her gum.

"Call and tell her the Third is here to speak to her."

"I just said-"

"Do it," Rei calmly interrupted, "This is important."

The crimson-eyed female turned towards Shinji, "Go to room 333. She is either in there or she is in her office next door."

Shinji nodded as the nurse dialed the number on the phone to contact the doctor.

It wasn't until he started walking through the hospital that he actually noticed how many people were here… it was even a couple of translators that were speaking to some people, but Shinji quickly turned the other way as a lady began to cry… and he could tell that those were tears wasn't for happiness.

He decided to take the stairs… mainly because of the fact that it was so many people stuffing into the elevator, and partly because he enjoyed the peace of the stairway.

The sound of his footsteps echoed as his shoes hit the granite steps, and it was so cold that he was expecting to see his own breath.

He felt aware… too aware.

Shinji could hear the soft footsteps of a woman not far above him, and he could hear the closing of the heavy doors a floor below. Some people were having a conversation a floor above him, and a man was running up the stairs and was now… right behind him.

Suddenly Shinji spun around only to find a man dressed in medical white with bags around his feet fly pass him. A nurse not far behind was informing him that he was needed in the OR in order to operate on a boy who barely made it out of an car accident alive.

The ex pilot sighed. Being with Rei was making him paranoid 

Deciding that everything was all right, Shinji continued walking up the stairs until he made his way up to floor three. Pausing before pushing the heavy doors to open them, he checked to see if anyone was behind them. Not hearing any voices or footsteps behind either of them, he pushed one open and stepped into the third floor hallway.

"Room 333." He whispered as he stood at the end of the hallway and looked all the way at the window at the other end of the hall.

"Ah, it is a few doors down on your right." Called out a friendly voice beside him.

Shinji turned to find a man dressed in all white and assumed he was a nurse, "Thank you," the young man whispered, as he looked at all the doors, "It is a pretty long hallway."

The man smiled, "Don't worry about it. And yes, it is a pretty big hospital."

 Using the male nurse's information, Shinji looked at each of the room numbers till he came to room 333.

Clearing his throat, Shinji softly knocked on the door and called out the doctor's name.

 He waited a while, and repeated the process. 

Shinji almost knocked on her head as she opened the door…

A lady dressed in a white dress covered with a lab coat of the same color stepped in front of him, her long, lively red hair stopped at the center of her back… but the long needle she held in her hand bothered him…

He felt a bit dizzy as he looked at the needle, it was twice as thick and almost three times as long as the biggest needle he ever seen… but the look on her face bothered him to a greater extent.

She looked amused.

"Oh, hi Shinji. I was just fixing this," She held up the syringe and pressed the end of it causing fluid to come out, "for you."

He was becoming real dizzy…

"Oh shit, Shinji I was just joking-"

He passed out…

~*~*~*~

"Today's lesson: Hand-to-hand combat!" the man yelled as he walked among the crowd of people, "People we are not here to practice! Break your opponent's arm, kick them in the balls, and even kill them if you have to… or if you want to."

He pulled out his gun and shot a boy directly in the head after he was knocked down by a simple punch in the chest, "This is no place for weaklings."

Looking around he managed to catch a glimpse of a crowd looking at a fight, not wasting even a second he pushed his way through to see what they were looking at… the best were fighting each other.

Shinji narrowly avoided her blows, one by one he didn't counter… just blocked and moved. Although it was far from a perfect defense it was more than suitable.

But on the other hand, Mana carefully choose where to strike but had to do it fast on the off chance that Shinji would decide to hit her… and he probably would have if it wasn't for her gender.

"What are you doing!?" The man boomed his voice causing Shinji to almost fall off guard, "This isn't a one on one fight, everyone is fighting to see who survives! Fight! All of you or I will kill you myself!"

A meek, smaller boy gulped, "I-I thought we were just training-"

The hooded man kicked the boy to the ground, "Fight or die!"

"I'm not going to kill anyone… I rather die." Came a soft reply from the center of the crowd causing all eyes to turn towards Shinji, "You better just kill me now…"

Mana jumped in front of him as the hooded man began to march towards him, "No! He doesn't mean it!"

"Shut up." He said eyeing Mana before moving along to Shinji, "The old men told me you was important, so you won't die… but if you don't do as you are told others will."

He flashed his insane smile, "Now hit her as hard as you possibly can."

"I-I can't."

A gunshot rang out in the room and another person dropped to the floor, "Do it."

And he did… using his right hand he hit Mana as hard in the stomach as he possibly could. She didn't black out, but it did take her some time to regain her normal breathing pattern.

The boy simply started at his hand as if it acted on its own… as the others around him started fighting to live… it was then that he noticed it. 

The twitching of his right arm was beginning… it felt like he was about to black out but he felt completely normal.

He could hear his heart beat despite the battle cries and shouts around him.

The room was as large as a gym and it wasn't cold at all but he was shivering…

He didn't even have to turn around because he felt the punch coming towards him, so he simply sidestepped, but the more he dodged the more he began to feel tired… but this wasn't… normal.

He was fighting to keep his eyes open, but not because they were deprived of sleep…

It felt like something was tugging at the edges of his sanity and soul… begging to be released even if for a second…

The moment he closed his eyes, that 'something' took over.

And it was then that the true carnage began…

~*~*~*~

"Leave him with me. If you care so much about him just leave him in my care till this is forgotten."

"They won't forget about him, and we are leaving the moment you remove the block."

Shinji rubbed his eyes and slowly set up in the bed, he hated to eavesdrop but… but he just couldn't stop himself from listening.

"This holy war you are raging on them is not going to cause any damage for real Rei. Look they have assassins all over the world. Hell, they probably even have some watching me here in the hospital! But you know that this isn't going to work… it is suicide Rei, and you can't replace yourself any more."

"SEELE is going to be destroyed." 

It was things like this that he didn't really want to ask Rei about… like when Mana was talking about those mass production factories, and now the doctor talking about replacing… 

"Anyway, I'm ready to do the operation… but we may need to leave Shinji in the 'room' for a while. While he was out I ran a couple of test and… his psyche graph was pretty unstable. I don't even think he has a mental block or whatever. I think he just experienced something much worse than EVA…"

"We should be leaving as soon as permitted. Start as soon as possible."

Shinji pretended to be asleep as the both of them stepped from behind the curtain, wishing the operation thing wasn't going to hurt… that much.

Asuka picked up an IV pouch out of the box beside the hospital bed, "I guess I'm going to have to use some pretty strong stuff to keep him out, I mean he is Shinji."

Rei said nothing as the red head pulled out her trademark syringe and walked towards the 'sleeping' boy, "Rei, do you remember how you was when you first came to me?" the woman said as she got a tight grip on Shinji's arm and forced the needle into it. 

It wasn't that hard to pretend to be knocked out since his arm was really limp since he was beginning to feel dizzy again…

The albino silently moved towards the window to look out of it, "Yes, I do." She said softly as she pulled back the blinds.

Noticing that she didn't want to talk about it, Asuka changed the subject, "How do you feel about Shinji?" she asked as withdrew the needle from Shinji's arm.

She didn't answer.

As Shinji slowly began to black out, all he could hear was Asuka saying something along the lines of, "It never helps to keep it inside."

~*~*~*~

 Pain…

"My hands wrapped around his throat… and with his dying breath he begged me to stop."

"He was even crying."

Lost…

"When she walked away I-I didn't think I would never see her again…"" 

Agony…

"I… I didn't only take his life… I-I destroyed his soul by killing those around him…I took his sanity by torture. What kind of monster did they turn me into…"

"No, what kind of monster did I become…"

Insanity…

"I didn't want to watch it… she was teaching us how to drive our target insane with mind games. I didn't want to see a child commit suicide… I… I didn't want to see a grown man cry…"

Loneliness…

"It doesn't matter how many people are around them… not one of them know me… not one of them care…"

"Not one of them loves me."

Destruction…

"In this world tainted by the darkness of the human heart… are we not all destroyers of each other… monsters who take pleasure in the pain of our victims… trash that can only make a living by killing?"

"No… I'm not like that."

Death…

"Is… Is this all I amount to? Just a weak coward that refuses to believe that I'm just a killer?"

~*~*~*~

Shinji screamed as he tried to grab the sides of his head only to discover that his hands were bound to the side of the bed he was on top of.

It felt like his head was going to explode… The voices, memories, lies, flashbacks, dreams, and even nightmares all entered his mind at the same time, each of them trying to become the dominant one in his mind's eye.

"Listen to me Shinji! Don't try to fight it." Asuka's voice came over the speaker as the boy continued to jerk his head from side to side.

"I-It," the young man paused as tears started to slide down his face, "It hurts… make it stop… please!" he begged as his mind felt like it was breaking in half.

As Shinji was struggling to keep his sanity, the women on the other side of the window turned to talk to each other.

Asuka started first, "Rei… he isn't taking it well at all. We might have to cancel it… for now at least."

The albino took another glance at the boy who was tied to the bed, "Can you administer any drugs?" she whispered as she continued to be witness to the pain Shinji was in.

"How can you remember things when you are unconscious?"

The red head was really beginning to get worried when instead of answering, sweat began to form on Rei's forehead, "Let's call it off, I don't want to see him go into that state…"

As Asuka turned to retrieve the drugs needed to put the boy at ease, the screaming suddenly came to a stop…

Rei, her calm exterior broken, nervously looked through the window…

One by one… the straps that held him down started to break.

"I'll… get the tranquilizing gun…" Asuka slowly backed away then burst out into a full run for the gun.

He slowly raised his head, and examined the albino on the other side of the thick glass placed there for protection.

…For a moment, the both of them stared at one another.

Her eyes searched for any compassion… any feeling.

She found feelings, but not the ones she was looking for… she found nothing but grief in those lonely blue eyes.

At this exact time, something came to her…

Was this how it always was between them?

Not only being separated from each other by physical barriers, but by their own sense of self.

She was known to keep so many secrets… even from those who could be considered loved ones, and him, who would always retreat from others because of his fear of pain.

When he needed her most, where was she?

When he cried for her, what did she do?

When… When he disappeared, was she to blame?

Is it because of her that he was so distant… so lonely?

As he punched the glass, Rei snapped back into the present…

Despite the fact that it was near impossible to break the glass, the boy continued to hit it… over and over again as the one person who probably treasured him the most could only stand witness to this self mutilation…

As he began to come to his senses, the punches continued but… tears started to fall to plain white tile that covered the hospital floor…

Rei silently turned the knob on the door and entered the room, it was only then could she hear what he was whispering.

He continued to hit the glass not caring about the blood that stared to appear on his fist, "I'm just a killer who doesn't want to be responsible for his crimes… so I'm running away again… like the weakling I always was."

"Shinji… we all run away at one point. People are not superior beings at all, everyone has to come to accept the fact that we all are corrupted… we all are weak, but by excepting that, we can become stronger and better."

Rei moved to Shinji's side just as he began to collapse… and luckily she managed to catch the falling boy in her arms, "Shinji, I'm… I'm sorry for hurting you like this," Rei gasped as Shinji's arms wrapped around her waste and his head landed on her shoulder. 

Shinji slowly began to close his eyes, but before he drifted off into sleep the girl that held him began to speak, "Can you recall those words you said to me Shinji?"

The young man slowly blinked as the exact statement came to mind, "I-I said I hated you…" he said quietly feeling ashamed of himself.

She embraced him and brought her lips closer to his ear, "I came for you to show that the feeling isn't mutual…"

Fin 

_________

I don't think I did a very good job on this chapter but I like it, it looks pretty good to me but I really think I should have added a bit more Asuka in this.

Now that I think about it, I wanted Asuka to have a much bigger impact on this story (Take Mana's place or even Rei's), but it seemed so much better to make her something successful… something happier. -_-'

Anyway, some of you probably noticed that the quality of the story seems kind of higher than some of my previous stories. That is because I wrote them while I was making one shots and stuff. So all I do is really pre read the chapters and fix stuff before I send them to my pre readers. ^_^.

I need you people to take off your Shinji/Rei hats and to put on your Shinji/Mana hats for a while, because some of the chapters that follow this one will be about Shinji's past after the Third Impact.

Many late thanks for reading and many more thanks for reviewing. ^_^

Next chapter: _Tears and Gunpowder_


	5. Chapter 5

AN: As you can probably tell the updates are coming pretty slow now… -_- I'm doing a lot of writing (editing older stories and writing new chapters and such to unreleased ones) but I haven't wrote anymore chapters to this story which means… o.o I caught up to myself and I will be releasing every chapter the moment my pre-reader gets finished with it.

Strain 

"The assassin's blade carries sorrow that cuts though all happiness."

Chapter Five: 

_Tears and Gunpowder_

"Shinji are you awake?"

The boy slowly nodded as Asuka leaned over his bead, "I wanted to tell you exactly what that 'phase' you go in is." She said as continued to check to see if Shinji was feeling better.

As Shinji turned his head to look her in the face, a flood of memories came into his mind.

_She kissed him…_

_She clapped after he finished one of the only cello songs he had completely memorized…_

_She had arguments with him…_

_She… She hated him._

"Shinji, are you sure you are ok?" she asked once again looking him directly in the eye. It wasn't until this very moment that he noticed that one of her eyes was gray… while the other was a brilliant sky blue.

"A-Asuka… is that my fault?" He asked pointing towards her eye.

It both scared and shocked him a bit when the doctor broke off into a string of laughter, "You know, I really did blame all that stuff on you for quite a while, but let me ask you a question Shinji. How long do you think 'hate' can exist without anything to fuel it?"

He blinked, "I… I honestly don't think I ever hated anyone before."

"When I woke up in some hospital bed somewhere with people surrounding me asking me stuff I didn't know about and trying to ask me about my condition, I was only thinking about the scream I heard before I passed out."

Asuka pulled a chair up closer to the bed and sat on it, "I started to wonder did that scream come from… mother, or did it come from Unit 01," She flashed Shinji another one of her beautiful smiles, "That doesn't matter though, when I woke up people gave me the all the credit for defeating those… things, but I didn't even destroy one."

She slide her hand down her face, "Not even one…"

"I'm sorry… for bringing it up."

The doctor blinked a few times before the sarcastic smirk once again appeared on her face, "It's a good thing you still have a habit of saying sorry, it makes doctors feel less guilty when something goes wrong." She said as she started to get up from the chair.

"Asuka…"

She stopped at the doorway without turning around to face him, "Is something wrong Shinji?" She asked completely serious as she prepared to go back to work.

The boy kept his head in the same position on the pillow instead of looking in her direction, "I'm sorry… if-"

Asuka carefully walked over to his bedside once more to make sure that her point was made, "Shinji, if we lived our lives in the past, the present will pass us by and the future ahead of us wouldn't exist…" 

Shinji looked at the hospital ceiling, "B-but without our past what future can we carve out? How… how can we step forward when we have nothing behind us?"

"You know Shinji, Misato told me something a long time ago but I think I was a bit… ok, a lot more headstrong than I am now and I didn't take the time to think it out," Asuka stated as started to leave the room again, "I think it was something along the lines of, 'Take life one step at a time or else you might trip'."

~*~*~*~ 

SEELE was an organization feared by many, but the few who tried to speak out about their actions were silenced before they could talk. 

If need be they would silence anyone, anything, and go anywhere to do it.

But the one thing who stood against them, was a single girl.

And that girl was typing at a computer awaiting the return of Asuka.

Rei looked at the screen as information appeared rapidly only to be replaced by a new wave of information every few seconds. The sound of the typing and the quiet hum of the computer was the only thing that could be heard as she reviewed the information before her.

The information she was looking at dealt with the death of political figures in the past few years.

"What are you doing this time?" 

Before Asuka knew it a gun was being pointed in her direction, "Please don't alarm me Soryu." The albino said as she continued to face the screen.

The doctor simply stood at the doorway. She knew asking that question wouldn't result in her getting any answers, "I didn't tell him Rei…" she said as she calmly waited for the girl's reply.

"Why?" she questioned as she continued her search for information.

"I don't think he really wants to know about it Rei, I means it isn't like people were lining up to get those injections."

She kept typing as her eyes darted across the monitor, "Tell him. The more he remembers, the more information I can receive."

For a brief moment, that one statement caused the talking between the women to cease, and it was also during this time that Asuka actually noticed how cold it was in the library.

"I knew it," Asuka leaned on the closed door, "You are just using him." She said in an icy voice.

The typing stopped as the doctor's statement echoed in the large room once used as a library.

"Soryu, I said this once before and I will repeat it when necessary," Rei suddenly stood up causing the chair to slide backwards a bit, "Destroying SEELE is my main objective."

"I don't care about your damn goals in life! I care about Shinji!" The red haired doctor carefully watched the albino in front of her, "The more I hear about destroying SEELE, the more I'm getting sick of that bullshit! What will you do if Shinji just so happens to get killed just because you are dragging him along with you?!"

"What do you want me to do Soryu?" Came the slightly irritated tone from Rei, "I can't run away, and I can't outright attack the enemy. I can only depend on tactics and information, and Shinji is a valuable source of information."

"Rei, you don't get it do-"

"Soryu, we are important to each other, and we both understand that we must sacrifice in order to survive." Rei turned to the doctor and began to make her way out of the room, "I cannot stress enough how much I care for Shinji, but I also have to ask you some questions."

"Do you know how it feels to run out of bullets when the one you love is standing directly behind you?" 

Asuka diverted her eyes when Rei stared at her, "No… I don't."

"Neither do I and that is one feelings I do not want. Soryu, he is important to me, and he is also vital to the destruction of SEELE." 

The female doctor looked in the direction her albino friend, "I'm sorry Rei, it's just that it seems like you don't care that-"

The sound of the large door opening behind the two and caused Asuka to stop speaking as one of her nurses ran into the room. "Dr. Soryu," the older man said quickly but the bead of sweat on his brow was an obvious sign that something wrong, "The man you told us to place in the room beside your office is gone… I came to ask you what should we do?"

"I see, go inform security and make sure that he doesn't leave the hospital. If you manage to locate him, return him to his room." Asuka placed her hands on her hips and waited for the male nurse to follow her orders.

Upon realizing that she was finished and that she looked like she was beginning to get upset, the man ran out of the room to inform the others.

"You didn't react like I thought you would." Rei stated as she slipped her handgun into her jacket pocket.

"I was expecting this. I even gave him sedatives before I left the room, but I didn't expect him to be able to shake them off within the hour." Asuka blinked as something came to mind, "He is still confused so he might be looking for you Rei."

"I'm going to look for him." 

Asuka nodded as she exited the large room closing the heavy doors behind them, "If you do find him, please be gentle with him. Remember his mind is still sending him a flood of memories… any normal person would have probably been bedridden with pain or worse."

She turned Rei to see if she was paying attention, only to discover that she was gone. True to her character, Asuka simply laughed, "I should have expected she would do that."

~*~*~*~

A young man dressed in a medical gown tried his best to walk down the hall while keeping his hands on the walls to maintain his balance, but the aura around him kept others from approaching him.

Somehow as he managed to drag himself down the corridor towards the elevator, he could even realize his sense of self even in this state.

He thought… No! He knew this feeling was familiar. 

"Mr. Ikari," someone yelled out causing him to stop in his place, "We are here to take you back-"

=+=+=+=

"Grab tha kid! We have ta bring him back at all cost! Break his legs or somethan' if you have ta, as long as we get him back alive I don't care!"

=+=+=+=

"I-I don't want to go back…" He whispered catching the man in front of him off guard.

"Mr. Ikari, I am sorry but it is either you come or we are going to make you-" a solid punch in the mouth knocked the man to the ground and did more than silenced him.

The rest of the security team almost instantly reached for their handguns, and were shocked to find that two guns, one from the man on the floor, pointed in their direction by the blue haired female in front of them.

Losing his balance, Shinji fell onto the floor and crawled towards the girl beside him, "Rei… h-help me." He begged before falling to the ground.

She eyed the boy while keeping her guns aimed at the people in front of her. Quickly deciding her place of action, Rei pointed one of her firearms in the head of the unconscious man at her feet.

"Leave." Her simple request was granted as the security retreated to find means to secure her without anyone being hurt.

She looked down to find Shinji clinging to her leg, "Please d-don't leave again Rei." He whispered as she bent over to get a closer look at him.

Rei cautiously lifted him up, "Shinji… we have to leave now."

"Rei… what are you?" he said as he panted and leaned on Rei for support.

Her ruby red eyes went wide as the question registered in her mind. She could still remember his reaction when he first discovered the secret of her origin, and that was something she didn't want to happen again.

She pressed a button and the elevator doors opened a few minutes later. She stepped in between the doors half dragging Shinji into the elevator also. After the pressing of a single button, the elevator was off going towards its destination as Shinji held onto the girl for the simple fact that he felt like he was about to lose her again.

"Shinji, I have something to tell you," she started as the doors opened and the couple found themselves on the first floor.

When the woman raised her head, she found out that it was likely she wouldn't finish her statement because of the shotguns, rifles, and handguns pointed in their direction by the security.

"Miss please stand down!" one of them shouted as he stepped forward with the shotgun ready to fire, "Put the guns on the floor!" he yelled attracting more people to the already growing crowd.

"You know this is a hospital, and making so much noise can upset people." Someone behind the fully armed security said drawing the attention from the men.

The doctor before them swept her red beautiful strands of hair from out of her line of vision making it easier to see her sky blue eye, "Leave them alone, you guys take things too seriously" she said as she walk towards Shinji.

"B-But Dr. Soryu, she knocked out a man twice her size!" one of them retorted.

The red haired doctor got a dangerous gleam in her eye, "I can do the same thing. I'll take care of her, you just break up the crowd everyone can get back to work."

The moment she turned around to help the young man, everyone resumed what he or she were doing and the hospital once again turned into busy place it was as people searched for their doctors and nurses returned to the task they were supposed to be doing.

As the security team began to redraw, Asuka stepped into the elevator and pressed a button, "Rei, I told you to take it easy on him. I mean look at him… he is barely awake."   

The girl beside her didn't say anything as the doors opened and they both walked out with her dragging Shinji. Asuka started to speak again, "Just lay him down in my office. I'll be back later I have some work to do and then I will be back to check on him."

Asuka opened the door to her office before she walked away, "I know it's my fault he is like this," she started to exit the small office, "Probably because nothing didn't trigger him… anyway make sure he gets something to eat and give him some water." After finishing her statement, she promptly left the room to do her task. 

Rei helped Shinji onto the hospital bed in Asuka's office and prepared to follow the doctor out of the room so she could get something to eat for him, but before she could even step away from the side of the bed a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, "Don't leave…" the boy barely said as his energy as quickly leaving him.

Rei granted his wish as she got a seat from Asuka's desk and placed it beside the bed, "What do you need Shinji?"

"I wanted to tell you about my past."

The girl blinked, "Rest first, we can talk about that later." She calmly said as she maintained her cool aura.

"No," Shinji sat up in the bed and turned to face Rei, "I want to tell you while I can… while we have time like this together."

Rei leaned back in the chair and waited for him to begin speaking, "If you want me to listen, I will." She said aloud as Shinji laid back on the bed.

"It… it wasn't long after the mass production units were destroyed. Misato was… dead and father was missing so I had nowhere to go. So I just walked without knowing where I was going… before I knew it, days passed by and I was just sitting somewhere confused and hungry." 

Rei looked at the boy when he paused, but she was relieved when he went on, "Before I knew it, some men grabbed me and put a rag over my mouth and nose and after that all I remember is waking up at that place…"

To be continued…

Fin

__________________

Man, I'm sorry people. I said that he would start talking about his past during this chapter but I thought it would be better if I added more Asuka and Rei interaction into the story, and this also left some questions like 'What injections is Asuka talking about?', 'What information was Rei looking up?', and 'Why is Asuka's security team so heavily armed?'.

Just to clear something up, Shinji is like that because he is confused at the moment. If anyone who is reading have ever lost their memories only to have them flood into their mind will understand what it is like. Luckily, that never happened to me though. O.o

I was also pondering if I should call this book one, and have Shinji's past and the chapters after that be book 2. o.o  Anyway, expect the next chapter in a few weeks -_-; and please try not to lose interest. _;

Seriously, Shinji's past will be coming in the next chapter.

Next chapter: _Haiku _


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